So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
