He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
