I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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