oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
