I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You're a waste of cheezeits
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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