"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The feeling are messing with the penis
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
