you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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