my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
