She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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