Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
