is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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