I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
