3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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