i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
