she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
