is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize