big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
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