Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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