Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
