either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
we're chasing vodka with high fives
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
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i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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