is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
