My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize