in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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