theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
