His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize