I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
