Tell her she can't have a vagina
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
