I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
vagina is talking i cant
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
