i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
