idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I want a musical about memes.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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