We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
