I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
