Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
