He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I love black thongs
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
