I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
