can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
