Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
tell me about the fingering
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