I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
