sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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