oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
