I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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