Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
