I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
