My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize