You're completely useless in the revolution.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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