are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
