the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
