take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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