If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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