All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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