my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
