I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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