and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
cat food counts as protein by the way
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
