a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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