I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
