I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
