Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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